


Spitting Image

by Bre_ath



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Aggression, Alice in Wonderland References, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, M/M, MadHook, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 00:42:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4983223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bre_ath/pseuds/Bre_ath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drink me. That's all it said on the small bottle; the blue silvery liquid inside sparkled in his hand. Jefferson sighed and swallowed his tears, a lump forming in his throat. It was hers and he'd forgotten all about it. No one knew about Grace's mother but him and there was a good reason for that. Great. This was one of his unpredictable triggers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spitting Image

**Author's Note:**

> This took a lot out of me to write so i really hope you like it! Thanks for reading!   
> ~ love, love and love will love you.

Drink me. That's all it said on the small bottle; the blue silvery liquid inside sparkled in his hand. Jefferson sighed and swallowed his tears, a lump forming in his throat. It was hers and he'd forgotten all about it. No one knew about Grace's mother but him and there was a good reason for that. Continuing to stare at the small object, he felt the world shiver and flicker with an electric quality, the terrible remains of his damaged mind emerging from hiding. Great. This was one of his unpredictable triggers. The tan carpet crumbled away and turned into dark ground, cracking and breaking off at his feet as his sanity slipped away like a leaf in the wind, helplessly blowing away.

"Oi! We still goin' to Grace's thing or what?" Killian stopped at the door.

"Jeff, love?" Cautiously he stepped into the room where the incoherent Jefferson was standing, holding a tiny bottle attached to a chain with a small label.

"Drink me?"

Jefferson's head snapped up at Killian's voice, his pupils dilated, chest heaving with his every breath.

"Love? Love, it's me." Holding his hand and hook up, he tried to present himself with a neutral air. Jefferson's mental hiccups rarely turned out harmful, but he was unpredictable which made Killian doubt whether he knew who he was at all. Jefferson's serious stare cracked into a smile and his eyes took on a predatory gaze.

"Shit."

Through Jefferson's eyes everything was covered in blood. The bottle, his hands, the ground...everything looked as if it was falling to ruin. He remembered this moment. Out of the corner of his eye Jefferson saw a man stepping out of the darkness and advance towards him, a silver glint in his left hand. He grabbed the silver weapon from his assailant and tackled him to the ground, pinning him with precision. He raised the object over his shoulder, preparing to slice his attacker's head clean off.

"NOW IT'S OFF WITH YOUR ..."

A familiar voice. The pieces of reality started to slowly glide back together, the fuzzy fog lifting from his vision.

"JEFF!! OI! HEY, JEFFERSON!!" It was Killian.

As the portal jumper's world pieced itself back together he realized another familiar voice was present. His own, laughing hysterically at the damaging moment. Jefferson's manic giggling stopped as he recognized the mortified man laying beneath him. He held the poor pirate's hook above him, preparing to do his worst as Killian held his wrist with his one good hand in an attempt to stop him.

"Oh. God."

Jefferson stumbled off his lover and tossed the hook to the ground, unable to fully understand what had happened. Killian grabbed his hook and twisted it back onto his stump of a wrist. At first he glared at Jefferson. He wanted to scream at him and ask him what the fuck he was doing, but it wasn't his fault. Jefferson didn't know what he was doing, he could see it on his confused and terrified face.

"Right then. Now tha' that's over, are you ready? Grace's recital is in a half hour." Killian brushed himself off and readjusted his collar. If he didn't freak out, hopefully Jefferson would stay calm as well.

"Killian...I...I..." Jefferson stuttered as tears formed in his eyes.

Grabbing his hand, the captain pulled him into a hug. "Hey, I know," pulling away slightly, he smiled, "I knew wha' I got myself into. Don't you worry." Tilting Jefferson's chin up he wiped away his tears. It sucked. Plain and simple, it sucked to see him in such a way. His episodes had never gotten this bad and, frankly, it scared the shit out of Killian. The only thing to do was recognize the roller coaster when it came and hang on for dear life. He was lucky this time.

"I could've stopped you but I knew you wouldn't...Honestly you had me worried for a moment...But I knew you wouldn't, alright?" He held the shaken Jefferson, trying to calm him down, rubbing his back lovingly and whispering soft words of comfort in his ear. "Come on or we'll be late." Gently he coaxed the stunned man into his dress jacket and into his best shoes, then out the door and into the car. Jefferson stared out the window. He wanted to say sorry. He'd said sorry a thousand times before when these things happened, but for some reason the brunette couldn't muster the strength to say it. It didn't feel like enough. His mind and emotions felt numb but his head pounded in consequence from his tears before. Killian glanced at his partner in the passenger seat, trying to keep his oceanic eyes on the road but searching for a way to break the ice.

"So...can I ask you about the thing 'round your neck or are you gunna try and stab me again?"

Jefferson shot a look his way. It was rude but he deserved the statement all the same. He looked down at the small bottle dangling from his neck. Quickly he pulled it off and shoved it in his pocket. The hatter couldn't afford any more "incidents".

"It's...from Wonderland."

"Ah," he searched for more to say, trying to elongate the conversation "I see..."

Dammit.

Quiet again.

"It was Grace's mothers."

Killian nearly drove off the road. Jefferson never talked about this mystery woman and every time someone asked they either limped away or got a nasty little scar to remember the occasion. It was a touchy subject to say the least.

"It uh...it must've been very important...then..."

"Her name was Alice." Jefferson's head swam, his perception of reality slipping with every re-occurring memory.

"Wait wait...the Alice? As in Alice in Wonderland?!" Killian smiled in the passenger's direction. "You dog!"

"NO!..." Killian flinched at his outburst. Jefferson scared himself. He had to concentrate to hang onto reality. "No, she um...came as I was passing through the realms one day. She was lost." His eyes glazed over as he saw into another time and place. "I was looking for something for my father. I don't remember what it was exactly but he'd sent me out into Wonderland to look for it." Tears gathered in his eyes again.

"We spent...years together in Wonderland. I'm not even sure how long we spent there. _Time moves differently in Wonderland, you know_. She was the most beautiful person I had ever met. For once in my life I didn't want to leave and we just...lived. She made me see things in a way I had never seen before and they were almost as beautiful as her. Everything. But..." As they pulled up to the school and Killian parked the car he glanced at Jefferson. Tears were streaming down his blank face, his body almost in a trance-like state.

"Then what, my darling?" Killian eased him on, knowing this was just like any of his minds lapses. He had to finish the memory for it to be over.

"We had a baby...and she was just...so...perfect. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me, having Grace. So we left. It was too dangerous to have a baby there. There was too much that could hurt her. So we left Wonderland and went back to where my father and I lived, that little place in the woods... that's when I found his body. He had been dead for years, his body was more like bones than an actual human. _Time moves differently in Wonderland, you know._ " He repeated the phrase with a laugh and an embellished voice, his sanity slowly slipping again. "But I knew it was him. He was still dressed, lying on the floor. He must've fallen or something, waiting for me to come save him... I knew there was nothing more I could do, so I buried him, cleaned up the house and that's where my Grace was born. She was so beautiful...she smiled at me the first time I held her." He looked at his driver, his condition seemingly improving.

The pirate half smiled at the look on his love's face when he mentioned his daughter. Killian loved the way Jefferson's eyes lit up at the subject. Unfortunately they delved back into the darkness as his memory continued.

"We lived a quiet life in the forest and it was the best time of my life... We even made friends in town and little Grace started to walk...Then the queen and her men came to look for me." Jefferson's eyes turned vicious and his voice trembled. "She wanted me to jump realms for her and do...something..."His hand shook and his jaw spasmed.

Killian touched his leg lovingly with his hand. "Aye. Then what?" Jefferson looked at his attentive audience and tilted his head with a smirk, his mouth slightly open.

Killian swallowed hard at his empty stare. "I said no. I said no and..." Killian waited for him to finish with anticipation. Jefferson grabbed his coat collar and yanked him a centimeter away from his face.

" AND THEN because I said no IT. WAS. OFF. WITH. HER. HEAD. I'm only LUCKY little Grace doesn't remember her mother's head SLIDING OFF OF HER NECK AND HITTING THE GROUND RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. I SCREAMED TAKE ME INSTEAD." He cried the last word at the top of his lungs and shoved Killian away so hard that he bashed his head against the window. "And then it rolled over to me and I picked it up after the queen's bastards let me go."

Jefferson held the vial up in the pale yellow lamp light of the parking lot as Killian rubbed the back of his head, "Alice loved Wonderland. I should've known she would keep a little something. This potion would make you shrink." He held it in front of Killian's face. "She liked shrinking because then she could talk to the flowers. Did you know sunflowers are the most polite?" The fog lifted from his mind and he looked at the serious expression on Killian's face.

"I..." Jefferson looked down. "Killian I am...I am so sorry I just...I can't..."

Killian's relaxed expression returned as he pulled the broken man into his arms and held him again.

"It ain't your fault mate jus'...try not to make this a habit. I'm not sure I can take any more physical punishment." Killian chuckled at his last comment and rubbed his back. Jefferson grabbed onto his jacket again, this time in desperation, burying his face in Killian's neck. "Hey, Jeff," He grabbed his shattered companion's shoulders tightly and kissed his lips tenderly, " I love you. I love you so much. This thing won't change tha'. Ever."

~~~

Sitting in the school gym, Killian took Jefferson's hand as the lights dimmed and the amateur performance began. Scene after scene and dance after dance, it was finally Grace's turn. She sprang onto the stage with a unique vibrance and poured her heart into the routine, beaming the entire time. Jefferson's eyes glazed over and Killian stirred in his seat. Not here. Please... His world fogged once more, but instead of the horrors of his scared mind, he saw Alice. Grace looked so much like her mother. She was dancing in the woods in the afternoon sun, her dark hair spinning around her and a smile on her face, motioning to Jefferson to come dance with her. The performances came to an end and parents stalked the outside of the hall like vultures, all waiting for their children. Jefferson searched the crowd until finally the tiny little girl came running.

"Daddy!!!"

Grace sprang into her father's arms and he hugged her so tight Killian was afraid she would snap in half. Jefferson pulled away and put the vial around Grace's neck.

"You, my darling, look just as beautiful as your mother."


End file.
